Cassandra Calin Spotlight Interview
This article was written during Mental Health Awareness month.
In regards to resources, they had this to say, “A tool that I would like to share to help folks prioritize their mental health would be starting to shift their self-talk. I often encourage the clients that I work with to talk to themselves the same way that they would want to speak to a child, compassionately, curiously, generously. It is rarely helpful to shame yourself out of an emotion or need.”
During this month, we would like to greatly emphasize the importance of self-care, and knowing how to talk to oneself is the first step. Continuing from that point, they added, “Even if you can’t meet the need, or the emotion doesn’t feel good, being patient with yourself, being honest with yourself about what’s going on for you, practicing self-compassion and validation can create a softer place for you to land and be.”
Cassandra Callin has worked with VAVP for about 2.5 years now, and is incredible at what they do. They lived in Richmond for ten years, and love what they do. Their work focuses on supporting queer and trans people on their journey of healing from violence.
However, this profession can bring some very unique clients, and not every solution works for everyone. When asked how they approached these types of clients, they responded, “A couple of the methods I use to speak to the unique challenges our clients face include rewriting narratives and building self-trust. I work with clients to identify how they have internalized the toxic messages from oppressive systems and how they can begin to unlearn and rewrite those stories to account for their humanity and inherent worth.”
It is important to stay up to date with issues and research in order to respond faithfully to clients. Calin maintains a deep connection with the LGBTQIA+ community, attends professional development and training opportunities throughout the year. They used their experiences to create the My Therapist Told Me series in order to provide therapeutic support to a broader community.
“The process was particularly fun for me to get to work with another Black queer therapist and to collaboratively strategize around the offerings that we had to give and the ways the conversations we were able to have might build up our people,” they said.
Finally, we asked about their biggest takeaways from the project.
Calin answered, “The violence that we experience as LGBTQIA individuals comes from a variety of sources and impacts us in a variety of ways. It can be one specific event, one’s childhood more broadly, or a series of daily microaggressions that create harm. When we can broaden our understanding of how many different ways we experience violence, the range of how those can manifest, then we can offer ourselves a lot more validation and be kinder to ourselves and each other throughout our unique journeys of healing.”
We at the Virginia Anti-Violence Project strive to adopt this philosophy in everything we do, and appreciate Cassandra Calin for their work. Thank you for reading and supporting our organization.
Paying with Pride!
Paying with Pride 2023 Has Ended.
It’s that time again for Paying with Pride! VAVP has $11,000 available for hotel stays and emergency shelter for 11 Transgender and/or Nonbinary identified survivors of violence and their children who have recently experienced domestic violence.
That equates to approximately 10 nights of a hotel or shelter stay. VAVP would also like to support 4 Transgender and/or Nonbinary identified survivors of violence and their children who have recently experienced domestic violence with up to $1000 in Emergency Financial Assistance which can include basic need items, food, hygiene items, and rental support.
Please contact vavpadvocacyandservices@virginiaavp.org for more information
Virginia Anti-Violence Project Satisfaction Survey
At the Virginia Anti-Violence Project we value feedback, and as such would like to offer you the ability to give yours. Our Satisfaction Survey is a great way of making your voice heard and telling us what you would like to see out of the organization. Please take a moment and fill it out below!
“Stop” by Spartan Jet-Plex
Nancy Grim Kells aka Grim makes music as Spartan Jet-Plex and is a recipient of a 2023 Songwriting Fellowship with the Virginia Commission for the Arts. They serve as both a member of VAVP’s Board and a Facilitator/Executive Director at nonprofit, Grimalkin, in Richmond, Virginia, Grimalkin’s mission is to mentor and support trans and queer musicians, particularly BIPOC and disabled artists, using an artist-centered holistic approach to break down barriers, create new systems and structures of support, and expand the reach of marginalized voices. Grim identifies as Non-binary, Agender, and fluidly trans. Grim has a BFA from Tyler School of Art and a MS in Special Education and was a public middle school teacher for 14 years in both Los Angeles and Virginia. They also were a Vocational Counselor for 7 years, and they are currently a Certified Workforce Development Practitioner and Work Incentive Specialist Advocate (WISA). As a disabled and neurodivergent person, disability advocacy is part of the work they do in and out of Grimalkin.
My music is very personal and it helps me process my past and present experiences. I have struggled with my mental health over the years, especially with processing past trauma. Music helps me process it and helps me create something positive from all the darkness in our world and from my past and present.
Purchase “Stop” here.
Lyrics:
I’m in and out
there’s dark and light
sometimes the darkness
wins the fight
there’s demons in the past
I face them down
but it never lasts
these memories come fast
I’ve got to stop
turning me around
don’t know what’s in my mind
sometimes I’m doing fine
I’ve got to stop
turning me around
cannot unwind my mind
not sure what I might find
oh
same is true
for all the dark
light can come inside
bring some small spark alive
I’m in and out
nothing is left or right
sometimes it’s fight or flight
sometimes the future’s bright
I’ve got to stop
turning me around
don’t know what’s in my mind
sometimes I’m doing fine
I’ve got to stop
turning me around
cannot unwind my mind
not sure what I might find
oh
I’m a circle, I’m a second
I’m a holy ghost
feelings hit home so close
nothing that I had hoped
I’m a circle, I’m a second
I’m a holy ghost
the lightness does approach
my mind tries to revolt
I’ve got to stop
turning me around
don’t know what’s in my mind
sometimes I’m doing fine
I’ve got to stop
turning me around
cannot unwind my mind
not sure what I might find
oh
Intimate Partner Violence and Harmful Myths
by: Sophia Marano
There is a multitude of unique risk factors and harmful myths that exacerbate intimate violence among members of the LGBTQ+ community. Some of these risk factors include increased age, disability status, and living in poverty. Furthermore, harmful myths and stereotypes exist, such as the notion that older same-sex female partners do not engage in violent behavior. (Hillman, 2020). These stereotypes can be particularly harmful to members of the LGBTQ+ community considering that people often neglect intimate partner violence in non-heterosexual relationships. Above all, members of the LGBTQ+ community who are facing intimate partner violence must overcome all of the challenges that come with the fact that there is not only a lack of national survey data for intimate partner violence for LGBTQ+ people, but also inadequate responses from law enforcement and lack of LGBTQ+ friendly shelters. (Hillman, 2020).
As stated before, there are not only many risk factors that make members of the LGBTQ+ community more vulnerable to intimate partner violence, but there are also many barriers in place that make it difficult for these people to receive the care and treatment they deserve. (NCADV, 2018). There are unfortunately societal beliefs put in place that supports the notion that domestic violence does not occur in LGBTQ+ relationships when in reality, non-heterosexual relationships face intimate partner abuse at the same or higher rate as heterosexual relationships. There is also always the risk of potential homophobia from the staff of service providers and the lack of appropriate training regarding LGBTQ domestic violence for service providers. Additionally, and arguably the most systematic problem faced by this population, is the injustice LGBTQ+ people face in the legal system. (NCADV, 2018).
To face these obstacles head-on, it is also important to acknowledge and correct the myths and stereotypes about LGBTQ+ intimate partner violence. For example, many people believe that the more masculine and stronger partner is typically the abuser. (HRC, 2017). However, this is not true; intimate partner violence can impact or be perpetrated by any person regardless of their physical or personal attributes such as size, gender expression, or age. Another common myth is that it is easier for LGBTQ+ victims to leave abusive relationships than it is for heterosexual or married couples. (HRC, 2017). Again, this is completely false; Leaving an abusive partner is often a difficult and painful process, regardless of gender identity, sexual orientation, or marital status. (HRC, 2017). Such myths and stereotypes are extremely harmful to the LGBTQ+ community and may even make survivors more hesitant to come forward and seek help.
There are numerous risk factors and harmful myths that exacerbate intimate violence that is specific to members of the LGBTQ+ community. There are also many barriers in place that make it difficult for these people to receive the care and treatment they deserve. To improve health outcomes for LGBTQ+ people facing intimate partner violence, it is important to not only be cognizant of the unique risk factors this population faces, but also of the myths and stereotypes about members of this community.
Citations:
Hillman, J. (1970, January 1). Intimate partner violence among older LGBT adults: Unique risk factors, issues in reporting and treatment, and recommendations for research, practice, and policy. SpringerLink. Retrieved November 27, 2022, from https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-030-44762-5_13
NCADV: National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Domestic Violence and the LGBTQ Community. (n.d.). Retrieved November 27, 2022, from https://ncadv.org/blog/posts/domestic-violence-and-the-lgbtq-community
Common myths about LGBTQ domestic violence. Human Rights Campaign. (n.d.). Retrieved November 27, 2022, from https://www.hrc.org/news/common-myths-about-lgbtq-domestic-violence
SAFE Austin Interviews Lauren Gerken
by: Lea Gnoy
To raise awareness of violence against LGBTQ+ individuals with disabilities, the SAFE Alliance interviewed victims in order to get their stories and provide them with support and protection. The SAFE Alliance is a human service agency based in Austin, Texas that supplies help for survivors of child abuse, sexual assault and exploitation, and domestic abuse. It is researched that both LGBTQ+ individuals and people with disabilities are at a high risk of experiencing violence, so those with the intersectional identities of being an LGBTQ+ individual with a disability are at an even higher risk.
The SAFE team interviewed Lauren Gerken, a lesbian with cerebral palsy who has survived abuse, to shine light on the barriers and violence she has experienced. Gerken says how people “who identify as LGBTQIA+ and also have a disability are often left out of conversations about abuse, despite their greatest risk for violence and discrimination”, making it extremely important to bring more awareness to this situation. Other than the lack of inclusivity in discussions, Gerken says that one of the biggest barriers in receiving help for abuse are the multiple misconceptions that prevent LGBTQ+ abuse survivors with disabilities from speaking out. If a person with a disability comes out as abused, “society tends to question if that person even understands abuse to begin with”. For her LGBTQ+ identity, people tend to blame the fact that she is gay on abuse; a common misconception “is that abuse makes someone gay” and that assumption can be very damaging to one’s sense of identity. Another point that Gerken brings up is how abuse is never the victim’s fault.
Since LGBTQ+ individuals who have disabilities sometimes need help with everyday tasks like getting undressed, some horrible people would see that as an excuse to impose on the individual. Being at a vulnerable state is never a sexual invitation, and unfortunately LGBTQ+ individuals with disabilities are taken advantage of during extremely vulnerable situations. It is important to hear survivors like Lauren Gerken speak out about their experiences and how they are treated to spread awareness throughout society.
Citations:
Safe interview: LGBTQIA+ people with disabilities. The SAFE Alliance. (2019, August 12). Retrieved December 16, 2022, from https://www.safeaustin.org/safe-interview-lgbtqia-people-with-disabilities/