Integrity: the active process of working to have my actions match up with the things that are important to me [my values].
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Exploring the concept of integrity is a part of the foundation of the Queer Healthy Love [QHL] classes that VAVP facilitates regularly. While I had heard the word integrity before I participated in the QHL classes, the process of taking the time in community to deeply understand and identify my personal values and reflect on whether and when my actions match up with my values became a particularly sacred practice for me. The classes also allowed me the space and gave me the language to meaningfully explore my own internal sense of integrity on an ongoing basis.
One of the many exquisitely beautiful and hard things about working at VAVP is that because one of our guiding organizational values is community, and I am a member of the broad LGBTQ+ community, our organizational work often connects with my own individual, and very personal, work. It is at the intersection of my never-done work of trying to show up as a person with integrity, and VAVP’s ongoing work that is rooted deeply in the values of intersectionality and racial justice, that an exciting and messy and joyous organizational evolution is occurring.
As a white cis woman that has worked in the hyper-gendered mainstream anti-violence movement for much of my adult life, I have had enormous opportunities, access, and privilege over the course of my career. For the past three-plus years, I have had the honor of engaging in profound work, both personally and organizationally, as the Director of the Virginia Anti-Violence Project. As the organization has grown and more intentionally leaned into the dynamic work of liberation (and in the process of doing that work, done it’s due diligence to authentically center individuals and groups that are disproportionately impacted by violence within and against LGBTQ+ communities), it has become increasingly challenging to hold the position of power that I have at VAVP and continue to feel a solid sense of my own personal integrity.
The insidious and powerful thing about oppression and privilege is that it operates on all levels. We ingest it, it’s relational, and we perpetuate and build systems in our communities and cultures to maintain the status quo. It’s a machine that if left unchecked, will do exactly what it was built to do, maintain and support white cis supremacy. It seems to me, then, that the work of liberation is about dismantling these systems [and building new ones that support equity and beloved community], doing relationships inherently differently, and individually and very personally embodying liberatory transformation.
It is at the intersection of simultaneously exploring both my own internal sense of integrity and VAVP’s deeply rooted values of building power in intersectional LGBTQ+ identities and communities and dismantling white cis supremacy, that the VAVP staff, Board, and I have started to have conversations about the organization engaging in an intentional process of evolution over the course of 2018. This process will include my leaving as a mechanism to create room for a new team member to join VAVP. This transition will allow space for new leadership, vision, skills, and experiences to help support the organization in moving boldly and brilliantly into the future.
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Integrity: the active process of working to have my actions match up with the things that are important to me [my values].
While I feel an absolute sense of certainty that this is the right path forward for the organization and for me, to be transparent, I am holding a complicated mashup of feelings as we make our way through this unique and creative transition process. I feel an overwhelming and deep sense of gratitude to have had the opportunity to listen, learn, and grow in community with so many beloved comrades within the context of the work of VAVP. I feel so proud of the work that I have been a part of over the years (not just the last three as paid staff, but the twelve before that as a volunteer). I feel some nervousness about what my future will bring. But mostly, I feel so excited about the future and the possibilities that lie ahead for the The Virginia Anti-Violence Project and I can’t wait to see how VAVP’s work continues to unfold in community. I know that amazing work will go on and I know that I will do everything in my power to support the leadership and work that will continue to evolve across the state.
We don’t have many specific answers at this moment about exactly what this transition process will look like over the next several months or what the end result will be. We do know, however, that it will be rooted in VAVP’s organizational values and reflect a vision of the organization’s future that centers liberatory healing work and practice. And we know it’s going to be amazing and beautiful and messy.
Rest assured that as we engage in this process, the direct services, community building, and training/education work that VAVP engages in will continue rolling, so keep talking to us. We’re right here.
En Solidaridad,
Stacie